While spending many lazy hours at the beach, we ran across a pair of seagulls having a bit of a falling out. While I know that the coloring of these birds have less to do with sex and more to do with age, it amused us to create a story around these two.
A warning: this post is photo heavy, though I tried to keep them to a reasonable size.
First, let’s meet our couple.
This is Bernice, a lovely and svelte lady-seagull. She enjoys long flights over the Sound, a plump fish or grabby crab, and the love of a good seagull mate.
And here is Raphael. He’s a popular and handsome male. His hobbies include stealing corn chips from the human tourists and romancing the vast array of lady seagulls that flocked to his watery neighborhood.
The pair’s romance had been the subject of the beach’s inhabitants for the two months it had run, hot and heavy. Raphael had wooed the shy Bernice with gifts of french fries and the choicest bits of fish until she tumbled into his nest. The beach denizens waited with bated breath for the inevitable waning of Raphael’s interest. Their patience would soon be rewarded.
*****************************
B: “Raphael! Hey! Raphael!”
R: “Oh, hey Bern. Can’t talk, got a meeting.”
*****************************
B: “Got a meeting?”
R: Yeah…later ba-“
B: “That’s all you have to say to me? “Got a meeting.” You left me, Raphael! Left me a hot mess in the middle of the day because you said you saw a human toss an entire fish stick into the trash. You said you were going to grab it. You said we’d have breakfast in nest. But did you come back?”
*****************************
R: “Geez, Bern. Not here.”
*****************************
B: “B: “Why not here? You courted me here, in front of all the humans and the other gulls. I think it’s very fitting. What happened, Raphael? Why did you leave? Why didn’t you come back?”
R: “Hey, I never-“
*****************************
B: “Don’t you walk away from me! I want to know why, Raphael? Why? I trusted you! I loved you! And now you treat me like I’m nothing, worse than a week-old hotdog. You don’t fly by my nest any more. You don’t return my calls. You told me you loved me, Raphael. You said you could see us sharing a nest, having eggs together. Now everyone’s laughing at me for trusting you.”
*****************************
B: “Don’t you understand? I loved you! Loved you until I could barely fly, until I abandoned my dreams of a family, turned my back on my friends. I trusted you with everything and you threw it away like a hollow crab shell.”
*****************************
R: “You were a fun bit of feathers, Bernice, but don’t make it more than what it was.”
B: “I thought you loved me. I thought you…we…I thought you loved me.”
*****************************
B: “You know what? Fine! See if I care. I hate you, Raphael. I hate you to the very tips of my primaries. You want to flitter around with every gull who flies into the Sound? Go ahead. I hope you get eaten by a sea lion!”
*****************************
Bastard! I hate him…hate him! *sniff* Hate. Him. *sniff* Raphael.
*****************************
Yeah…I still got it. “Hey, Patricia. Lookin’ good, baby. I found half a muffin. Wanna come back to my nest for lunch?”
Elaina Roberts 